NATO appoints Libyan Operations Commander - a Canadian

Following the appointment of Canadian Forces Lt. General Charles Bouchard to command the Libyan no-fly zone and other noncombat operations, NATO Europe has elected to appoint a special subordinate officer directly under him to make sure the Continental perspective is considered in all command decisions.

Of particular concern to the European NATO partners is Bouchard's long association with US forces.  The ultimate sticking point for NATO Europe is the award to Lt. General Bouchard of the US Legion of Merit, a decoration traditionally awarded in American service to any senior officer who completes a foreign deployment without contracting an STD.

Europeans are constitutionally incapable of trusting anyone lacking a social disease, so this is a significant concern for them.

NATO Europe has therefore assigned Belgian Bridgadier Maurice "Au Secours" Sproutes-Brusselles(shown, far right) to work beneath Bouchard.

Sproutes-Brusselles, late of the 3.me Chassées Belges ("The Whippets") has the sort of military record any European force can respect.  Since his days as a cadet in his youth he has been overrun by some of the most distinguished military formations on the Continent.  He has served Belgium as expected in numerous overseas deployments, and was decorated for his gallant retreat along with several subordinates from Stanleyville in the Belgian Congo during that country's war for independence, an engagement referred to by Congolese veterans of the struggle as "Le Barbecue Blanche".

Sproutes-Brusselles will be tasked by NATO to coordinate directly with the Arab League's representative for strategy and planning, Mohammed Hussein Akhbar al-Tikriti, regarded in the Middle East as a distinguished Western scholar who has read every book Michael Moore has ever written.  His thesis, "The Effect of Sustained Application of Machetes on Third World Social Stability" is still required reading at St. Cyr.

When asked to comment on the appointment, the US Commander of the Sixth Fleet, tasked with continuing actual combat operations against Libya under NATO command, went on the record as stating:

"This will get out of control... this will get out of control and we

will be lucky to live through it!"

Mickey "Scraps" Mikowski
CSM 2nd Michigan Citizens' Militia (Ret.)
is Three Beers Later's Special Guest
Military Affairs Correspondent