tonight i went and saw 'the curious case of benjamin button' and i left the theater feeling a mix of many different emotions. without giving anything away to friends who will be seeing it later this week, i will say that at first i felt incredibly depressed. sometimes if i think too much about life and death i start to feel horrible. i have this great love in my life, my soulmate, and i love him more than words could ever do justice. our love story is a great one, and when movies or books, or even moments in life, make me think about loss, i immediately think about hank and overthink the horrible possibility of loss through death. i avoid thinking about things like that because i am an emotional, sensitive person and i get too sad, but this movie brought up that topic constantly throughout its entirety- almost 3 hours. in fact, one of its themes was death. but life also. the idea of losing hank makes me physically ill. i feel sick just typing it out. but although the film does focus on death and losing loved ones, it also focuses on the here and now of life. how we can't go through life afraid of death, because then we miss life. it's a fine line. i love hank so much and i am so scared of losing him, but i can't fully live our life if i am afraid. so we take chances. we live life. and that is the beauty of it all. 'the curious case of benjamin button' made me think about scary things, but also opened my eyes and reminded me that yes life is short, but we make of it what we will. we have a choice everyday to be whoever or whatever we choose. if something bad happens, we can choose to dwell on it, or accept it and move forward; we can start again. throughout benjamin's life, we see him go through many of the changes and milestones we all go through. there was a part in the movie that focused on him and his love getting their first place, living with no furniture, and sleeping on a single mattress. it really put life into perspective for me because our first place was so small, we slept on a twin mattress for one year in a closet sized room turned into a makeshift bedroom, and had nothing. the movie reminded me that all of those things, all of the hard times, and how it's all a journey. it's all part of this amazing story. and looking where we are now, and looking where we were, i am so thankful i appreciated those silly times in our small one bedroom apartment, sleeping in such a small space, heating our apartment with the oven when our furnace broke, and loving each other when we had nothing. it's such a beautiful thing. i left feeling so sad but so happy at the same time. i found the film to be incredibly enlightening, inspiring, and made me appreciate my love with hank so much i can't really capture it on this screen. i believe in love and i believe in living life fully. and although this movie is incredibly sad, it also truly makes you believe that anything in life is possible and reminds you to never waste time in life, or take people for granted. go see it.
