Wonkette Drones Attack Robert Stacy McCain...

... not having grasped the notion that Southern Man don't need them round, anyhow...

...as is eloquently demonstrated in this ceremony by Rightwing White Supremacists honoring Stacy...

It's 3AM... the doorbell rings...

I'm gonna beat Little Miss Attilah to this one...

In a post at The Other McCain yesterday, Robert Stacy McCain wrote of some guy named Charlie something that people are talking about for some reason: "The fact that Sheen is associating with women so far beneath him is rather a telltale signal of his fundamental problem..."

Stacy, what evidence do you offer that porn stars are "beneath" someone like this Charlie person... 

who has been accused of stabbing one wife... 

...threatening to behead another... 

...throwing hundreds of people out of work...

...and costing a major corporation hundreds of millions of dollars 

with his self-indulgent, narcissistic behavior?

Face it, you could make a better show than this Charlie guy's WITH 

porn stars...

In fact, you could make HIS show with porn stars...

Ask yourself this.  If your doorbell rang at three in the morning, would you rather it was Charlie Sheen or a Porn Star standing there?

Robert Stacy McCain Linked to Rash of Hollywood Twitter Pregnancies?

Following the sudden announcement of Alyssa Milano's pregnancy, a rash of celebrity pregnancies is sweeping Hollywood.  Natalie Portman has appeared at the Oscars in the family way, and actresses and celebrities including Marion Cotillard, Jewel, Rachel Zoe, Jennifer Connolly, Jane Krakowski, Jessica Alba, Victoria Beckham, Rachel Zoe, and Isla Fisher have all turned up embarrassée.  Coupled with the recent rash of celebrity births including Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Rowley, Gretchen Mol and Elton John, and it's clear that Hollywood is in the middle of a frenzy of fecundity.

And what do all these happy occasions have in common?  The phenomenal twitter powers of Robert Stacy McCain.  Ever since his successful twitter stalk of Alyssa Milano, sources close to the McCain camp say the confrontational conservative journalist has been on a tweeting frenzy, pinging ever showbiz figure who's been described as "hot" since Joyce DeWitt. 


"I'll tell you, I couldn't get out of the country fast enough," said one source close to McCain who asked not to be identified.  "It got weird. It just went on and on and on.  I'm amazed he can still bend his thumbs."


Plainly, this has been having an unexpected consequence or two.  Just as cell phones and high-tension lines are rumored to cause cancer, it seems the tweets of Robert Stacy McCain have long-term physical effects that have yet to be fully studied.


It is to be hoped that the responsible parties at Twitter will take swift and effective action before longterm damage is done to this nation's entertainment industry...

Good news, America!  Soon all your movies 

will look like England's!

Did Stacy McCain Miss the Story?!

Robert Stacy McCain has been whipping up another Google Bomb with his allegations of Nude Photographs of Arianna Huffington.

Inexplicably, the man who prides himself on being a thorough, deep-digging reporter of the Olde Schoole has inexplicably missed the even more shocking existence of the Arianna Huffington Sex Tape....

THREE BEERS LATER STAFF EXCLUSIVE: TWEET-STALKING RAMPAGE LEADS TO BLOGGER ARREST!

"It was the hat.  I shoulda worn the hat..."

The successful culmination of rightwing teabagger online journalist Robert Stacy McCain's long campaign to secure a "tweet" online message from Charmed star Alyssa Milano has inspired a tragic copycatting, as a lower-tier blogger was admitted to the County USC emergency room suffering from multiple taser burns and prolonged over-exposure to pepper spray and small nipping dogs.

Officers from the LAPD, LA County Sheriffs, Beverly Hills PD, Policia Municipali di Roma, and Interpol are still trying to piece together the details of a deranged internet addict's global frenzy, using data gathered from police complaints, private security firms and home-security video systems as well as e-mails, Twitter messages, posts, YouTube videos and comments often completely off-topic, on other blogs.

"This is a unique and uniquely outrageous case," said BHPD spokesman Captain Brad Perfect. "We haven't seen anything like it since Harpo Marx got onstage during A Night at the Opera.  Frankly, a middle-aged fat man streaking a Girls Gone Wild video would have shown more class and dignity."

Celebrities involved to date include:

Penelope Cruz

Juliana Moreira

Alyson Hannigan

Catherine Zeta Jones

Debbie Harry

Denise Milani

Cote de Pablo

Charisma Carpenter

Brinke Stevens

And the entire staff of Hooters....

"It's like this suspect was just one big "Just say no to the Internet" ad..." said Captain Perfect.

TBL publisher Richard McEnroe is expected to have further on this case following his arraignment making bail  recovery from undisclosed minor medical and personal problems.

A Three Beers Later Payola Exclusive -- Blogger Payola Revealed!

Robert Stacy McCain, Master of the "Tip Jar" (*nudge-nudge, wink-wink, knowwutImean, knowwutImean?*) arrives at the posh El Cholo's restaurant in Santa Monica to meet with naïve California GOP Congressional Candidate Mattie Fein:

Unable to make contact with his usual cabal of what the gallant Democratic General Wesley Clark politely called "New York Money Men," Stacy McCain makes do with the materials at hand, cobbling up shady back room deals on smoke-filled Santa Monica streetcorners (no smoking in restaurants)...

Inside, top-notch California bloggers explain to Mattie Fein everything that is wrong with the CA Republican Party and running a GOP campaign there...

...and what it's gonna take to fix it...

...to the horror of Mattie's loyal campaign manager Alli...

...who quickly reassures the distraught candidate that they can get a low-cost Fannie Mae mortgage to take care of the problem and "Keep the bloggers sweet, if you know what I mean..."

UPDATE: INSTALANCHE!  Welcome, new readers!  Please take a moment to check out Mattie and Merlin's campaign sites!

It's been a good weekend so far...

Had some fun this weekend.

updated: Crap. Fergot to mention.  Car rolls to a stop right in front of us,  Out of gas.  I set down all my flags'n'signs'n'stuff to help push it out of the way.  Then I realize I'm pushing a Prius.  Out of gas.  Ah, life's little pleasures...

Friday night, some fun new signs:

 Then a fellow came by with a camcorder, claimed to be a reformed Democrat who worked with Howard Zinn once and produced the "People Speak" series for the History Channel.  He let Deborah Leigh and I speak our piece.  God knows what will happen in the editing, of course, but we had our say, so no complaints so far.

Wade, the block commissar for the lefty group we counterprotest every week, saw the camera and came over.  He scurried around trying to stay off-camera and eavesdrop on what we were saying at the same time.  Wade loves doing this crap, I think he thinks he's being a fish swimming in the sea of the people or something; it's a regular pleasure to follow him around the LA Tea Party rallies pointing him out to everybody.

Saturday, went to the blogger meet hosted in Santa Monica by Ladd Ehrlinger, Jr., creator of the famous Dale Petersen campaign ad, before a busy day of generating viral videos for GOP candidates tired of relying on the flaccid CA GOP leadership.  Joy showed up from Little Miss Attila, along with JSF of Valley of the Shadow,Gay Patriot and Congressional Candidate Mattie Fein and her campaign manager Alli, along with John S. Thomas, the man who exposed the Daily Breeze's blatant and arrogant partiality... as well as the Master of the Tip Jar his own self, Robert Stacy McCain.  I sent Smitty some photos of the event to post, and I may send more, unless we can come to an equitable split of the tip jar take...

...and then in the checkout line on the way home I found myself in line in front of a cute blonde wearing a T-shirt that read "I only date Republicans."

Whereupon Deborah Leigh hit me.  I don't know why.

Happy Feet Friday -- Miley Cyrus poledances!

Top THAT, McCain!

Robert Stacy McCain Warns the West!

Well, Arizona and California, anyway...

Offend a Feminist Week -- Thursday!

Today's guest feminist blogger:

Chlamydia Shabazz X

A dedicated community organizer, Chlamydia Shabazz X's credentials include:

National Spokeswoman, Congress Of Racial Iniquity

East Coast Director, Southern Christian Organization for Retributionist Extortion

Regional Liaison, Surly Pack of Lesbian Combatants

Chlamydia recently made her BET debut hosting the financial advice program, "That's MY Mortgage, Mistah Man, and I'll Pay It When I'm Damned Good and Ready!"

"Why are we letting a bunch of honky beeyotches tell us what the issues are?!  Do they think we're dumb enough to abort 60% of OUR babies to make more room for their Mexican gardeners and gated communities?

"Uh, wait a minute..."

Offend a Feminist Week -- Wednesday!

Wednesday's entry response to the regrettable Offend a Feminist Week attempts to broaden the horizons of our conservative readership through the words of Maria Marisa Dolores Bonita Gonsalves Herrera, Ph.D., Chair of Hispanic Gender Studies at UC Santa Barbara.  Dr, Herrera is notable among the UCSB faculy as the only Ph.D candidate they were afraid to ask to defend her thesis.  Her professional publications include:

"Errol Flynn's Cuban Rebel Girls as Hispanic Feminist Metafiction"

"What was Lupe 'The Mexican Spitfire' Velez Spitting at?"

"Mi Hermana es su Hermana -- No Reasonable Offer Refused: The underground economy in Tijuana"

"You Only Care About the Glass Ceiling When You Want Me to Clean It for You"

"¡Chingada su Madre! ¿Usted los maricones viene aquí, roba la parte de nuestro país con todos los caminos pavimentados, usted piensa que damos una maldición sobre sus nalgas blancas flacas gordas? ¿Tenemos una guerra el encenderse abajo aquí porque usted can' la subsistencia de t sus narices que moquea de la mesa de centro, y de usted quisiera que nos preocupáramos de usted que gana solamente ochenta centavos en un  dólar de los hombres? ¡ARIZONA! ¡ATTICA! ¡¡ARIZONA! ¡ATTICA! ¡¡ARIZONA! ¡ATTICA!”


(We apologize for the lack of a translation, but Miguel, our fully documented and absolutely no question about it legal typesetter suggested that some of the Doctor's comments might  not have been entirely on topic...TBL)


Update: Loose translation provided by my gardener, um, 'Sven,' yeah, Sven...


"Mother****ers!  You ******** come here, steal the part of our country with all the paved roads, and you want us to worry about YOUR flabby white asses.  We've got a ****ing WAR down here because you can't keep your noses off the coffee table and we're supposed to worry about you only making eight cents to a man's dollar?   ¡ARIZONA! ¡ATTICA! ¡¡ARIZONA! ¡ATTICA! ¡¡ARIZONA! ¡ATTICA!”


(Note: as best TBL can determine, "Attica" is some kind of ancient Aztec curse...

Offend a Feminist Week --Tuesday!

I personally am shocked! shocked! that such sexism still exists in this country!  To offset such rampant swinehood, let me offer another guest poster in rebuttal:

Vanessa Brattigan-Brown-Lambert-Evans

MBA Wharton School of Business

Personnel Relations, New York Times, DDBO, Procter & Gamble, Universal Studios 1999-2004

Independent Consultant, 2004-

Nationwide Guest Lecturer:

"Tenure Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means, Professor"

"Divorce as Long-Term Career Track"

"Enhancing the Hostile Workplace Environment for Maximum Return"

"Learn those basic office skills, ladies!  You might not understand why you need to take dictation in the modern office, but believe me, you'll get it in the end!"

RAAAAACIST YELLOW JOURNALISTS KEEPIN THA BRUTHA DOWN!

And strangely, it's not Robert Stacy McCain...!

Damn, he's good...

Mah insidious ten'acles ah everywheah...

This call for Rangel to give up his chairmanship is meaningless, of course. It's a standard Democrat ploy.

Back when Barney Frank got caught with a gay brothel running out of his home and was censured for it Congress, he insisted that was punishment enough; he would never be able to hold a position of high influence in Congress.  How'd that work out?

Back when Pat "Leaky" Leahy had  to resign as head of the Intelligence Committee because his big mouth and desire to see his name in the papers got American agents killed, he was supposed to be finished. How'd that work out?

Dianne Feinstein had to resign her chairmanship of a VA committee after she got caught channeling somewhere between $1.3 and $3 BILLION dollars to companies she and her husband had an interest in. She's still on thecommittee, and she and her Westside backers are tied into the effort to steal land deeded to veterans in perptuity and hand it over to LA Developers.  How's that working out?

If Rangel wasn't anything more than a collection of appetites puffing out a badly-stuffed suit, he'd do what any smart Democrat does, make a token resignation and lay low 'til the smoke clears.  His constituents, the same NY morons who think Obama is going to pay their mortgages out of his 'stash,' will never vote him out of office.

Rule 5 -- Relationship Advice! A cautionary tale...

It's trickier than it looks...

Dedicated to Robert Stacy McCain and Little Miss Attilah.

Frumley Brooks, Esq., Mainsteam Conservative Pundit, Inveigles Against Offend-a-Feminist Week

In accordiance with the Brooks family motto since time immemorial, "Uno dies tardus quod uno denarius brevis" ("a day late and a dollar short") Mr. Brooks laments the latest insensitivity on the part of the American conservative movement:

"Rightwing blogger Robert Stacey McCain, a Washington functionary who has made a promising career of being mistaken for a distinguished Republican Senator, has taken the next sorry, inevitable step in the ruination of the conservative movement with his deliberate and deliberately offensive eponymous campaign to alienate middle-of-the-road women.

"Plainly, the mainstream women of America have made their choice, and it is incumbent upon us to adapt to it if the conservative movement is to survive.  We need to understand exactly where we are going wrong if we as conservatives continue to prefer this:

to this:

"Until we understand the message of empowerment and fulfilment women are sending us with this choice, we will suffer for it at the ballot box.

"We need to understand why women given a choice between  portraits of female accomplishment and achievement, reject this:

...in favor of this:
"We need to understand the important cultural message we are being sent when the middle-of-the-road majority applauds the free speech of a modern progressive woman:

...and rejects the firebrand rantings of an old-school reactionary who has the temerity to answer an unrehearsed question in public:

"Until we understand and embrace the demands the middle-of-the-road is placing upon us, until we learn to make room for their newer and sophisticated standards, I fear they will never let us join them."