Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Career Advice
The coffee shop I frequent before work hosts art exhibitions by local painters.
A couple just brought their kids in on the way to pre-school so mommy and daddy can get their caffeine. The kids are walking around carefully looking at the paintings, pointing and commenting.
Just a thought: when you artwork is being deconstructed by three year olds, maybe you're in the wrong job...
A couple just brought their kids in on the way to pre-school so mommy and daddy can get their caffeine. The kids are walking around carefully looking at the paintings, pointing and commenting.
Just a thought: when you artwork is being deconstructed by three year olds, maybe you're in the wrong job...
Rule 5 -- Happy Feet Friday -- Natalie Wood and Dorothy Provine!
All singing! All dancing! All catfighting!
Wednesday Foamy -- Tech support...
In honor of my beloved laptop languishing in the hands of strangers in Texas...
Tragically defective Subaru...
Look. It's a freaking Subaru. In Los Angeles. The ofiicial car of soccer moms, suburbanites, tree huggers, yuppies and all the other bourgeois Obama-voting hothouse flowers...
So what the hell went wrong here?
Why Do I Link to This Stuff?
Because right now I am entirely pissed off with the NRSC, the RNC and the CA GOP, my computer is in the shop and my eyeballs are about four inches from a 7-inch loaner screen.
A Foamy the Squirrel rant is exactly what I need to decompress while I compose my thoughts on the CA farce: funny,angry and incredibly foulmouthed. Enjoy.
A Foamy the Squirrel rant is exactly what I need to decompress while I compose my thoughts on the CA farce: funny,angry and incredibly foulmouthed. Enjoy.
Offend a Feminist Week -- Wednesday!
Wednesday's entry response to the regrettable Offend a Feminist Week attempts to broaden the horizons of our conservative readership through the words of Maria Marisa Dolores Bonita Gonsalves Herrera, Ph.D., Chair of Hispanic Gender Studies at UC Santa Barbara. Dr, Herrera is notable among the UCSB faculy as the only Ph.D candidate they were afraid to ask to defend her thesis. Her professional publications include:
"Errol Flynn's Cuban Rebel Girls as Hispanic Feminist Metafiction"
"What was Lupe 'The Mexican Spitfire' Velez Spitting at?"
"Mi Hermana es su Hermana -- No Reasonable Offer Refused: The underground economy in Tijuana"
"You Only Care About the Glass Ceiling When You Want Me to Clean It for You"
(We apologize for the lack of a translation, but Miguel, our fully documented and absolutely no question about it legal typesetter suggested that some of the Doctor's comments might not have been entirely on topic...TBL)
Update: Loose translation provided by my gardener, um, 'Sven,' yeah, Sven...
"Mother****ers! You ******** come here, steal the part of our country with all the paved roads, and you want us to worry about YOUR flabby white asses. We've got a ****ing WAR down here because you can't keep your noses off the coffee table and we're supposed to worry about you only making eight cents to a man's dollar? ¡ARIZONA! ¡ATTICA! ¡¡ARIZONA! ¡ATTICA! ¡¡ARIZONA! ¡ATTICA!”
(Note: as best TBL can determine, "Attica" is some kind of ancient Aztec curse...
From my mailbox...
They're shooting a freaking AT&T commercial in my favorite indy coffee shop today, while I'm busy ducking flying C-stands I'll just post this e-mail forwarded to me from Deborah Leigh...
Why I Voted Democrat
I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my boat.
I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we’re good guys.
I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as IT sees fit.
I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
Keep in mind: "A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
Culturally respectful, diverse, and religiously inclusive Rule 5!
Who sez I ain't sensitive?
Ah, screwit, print the legend...
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