Rule 5: Take your pick...

Republican Sex Scandal...



Democrat Sex Scandal...



Or upholding the dignity of the office...

She's sixteen, you louche boor. Who do you think you are, David Letterman?

Here's a suggestion for 2012...

No sickbed divorces

No exorcisms

No strippers

Vote for the freaking grown-up!

What is it about the Freaking Carolinas...?

Maybe we just shouldn't vote for anyone from the lower 48...

Carolina Democrats charged, resign in Satanic Sex Crime Ritual



Meanwhile, icon of marital fidelity John Edwards explores his comeback...