Obama Addresses Union, Democrat Violence...

In a carefully planned speech of bipartisan outreach, Obama called on the GOP and Tea Party to stop provoking hardworking Democratic politicians and unions members  into attacking and threatening to kill them.

"And tell those sluts in the Wisconsin massage parlors to start dressing more modestly!" the tough-talking, inspirational leader of the free world said.  "We need all the Democratic State Assemblymen we've got!"

Tragic 'Defibulator' Accident in Washington

Apparently the device simply let go as Obama opened his mouth to answer his first question on '60 Minutes'...

The defibulator, whose existence was revealed for the first time on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, is a seldom-used device in the Obama White House, and apparently its capacity had not been upgraded to meet the demands of the new Administration.

White House Press Secretary Gibbs was later quoted as saying, "Tee-hee, maybe it was Rush Limbaugh, snicker..."