Dear Henry,

Dear Henry,

Sweet boy you're approaching 4 months old now and I fall more and more in love with you every single day. Your Dad and I are beyond thankful for you, and we constantly talk about how much you've changed our life. There is no better feeling than the one we get when you beam that huge, gummy smile at us, and your laugh can make my entire day turn right around. You're the best parts of us, the best thing that has happened to us, and we thank the stars for you every chance we get.

This past weekend your Aunt Lauren and Uncle Abe got married, and it was a special day for everyone. You wore your first suit and watched from the back of the venue with your Great Aunt Pat as Lauren and Abe said "I do." You were so good through all of the pictures, and I can't wait to see our huge family photo. You, in your brown and orange suit, surrounded by all of the people that love you so much. Around 8pm you started getting tired, and your Dad sat upstairs with you for the rest of the night so I could do my matron of honor duties and dance with my sister and our family. He's an amazing father and it's times like this I am reminded again of just how selfless and giving he is. Most people wouldn't have wanted to sit upstairs and miss such a large part of the celebration, but your Dad knew how important it was for me to be present at my sister's wedding so once the speeches and separate dances were over, he took you upstairs and told me to go enjoy myself. He's such a good man.

Your Uncle Abe and his mother danced to one of my favorite songs-"Mom" by Lucero- and during their dance I teared up as I imagined one day dancing with you at your wedding. And although that time won't come for twenty or more years, I could still imagine us out there on the dance floor. Life will have gone on, it will have taken us places we can only imagine, we will be older, things will be different. And as the lights twinkled around the dance floor Saturday night, as the music drifted up and over the wedding guests, as I sat there, lost in my thoughts and lost in thinking about the future, my eyes teared up as I realized that one day, this may be us.

As the lyrics rang throughout the room, "Home might scatter and fade, with time all things must change. The road it might take its own course, but at it's end, Mama we're still your boys," I felt something deep within me make a wish that one day, you too will find love, and maybe one day we'll get to have our mother/son dance too. I hope that the time between now and then is filled with so much life, so many experiences for you, and if the time does come one day for us to have our dance, we'll both be able to smile and know that the life that's led us to that point has been better than we could have ever dreamed.

I love you so much Henry.

Love,
Your Mom

Dear Henry,

Dear Henry,

You've been here for 6 weeks now, which seems impossible to fathom.  Where has the time gone?  My little tiny newborn baby boy has grown into a bigger baby boy, and while it's so sad that you'll never be that small again, it's also so exciting.  You sit up on my lap now and take everything in.  Your deep blue eyes are wide with wonder, and I can see the wheels in your mind turning as you look, look, look at everything in our little world.  Everyday is similar at this point. We wake up around nine in the morning and I feed you, we play on the floor for a bit, we cuddle on the couch, we read, I sing you songs, we dance.  You sleep, you eat, the cycle goes on throughout the day.  When your papa gets home from work I can see you light up, and recently you gave him a big, big smile for the first time when he walked through the door.  Our hearts melted. Everyday you change and grow and do something new.  Your personality is starting to emerge a little more and I can definitely see a bit of the person you are becoming.  I think you'll be like your Dad.  Funny, kind, quiet at times, so loving.  Loving most of all.  You still like to cuddle up like a little koala on our chests while you nap during the day, and it's my favorite thing to just lay like that all afternoon and let you sleep.  You now grasp our hands, and even grasp toys if we place them in your palm.  You are beginning to lift and turn your head towards noise, and you really are starting to recognize our voices.

You are such a joy Henry.  This Christmas was the best of my life, because of you.  Your Dad and I couldn't help but already daydream about next Christmas, imagining you sitting there amidst all the red and green, bows and tissue paper, sitting up and enjoying every moment of your second, but truly new to you holiday.  This year you sat on my lap as I explained everything that was going on. You had your own stocking, and your own pile of presents, and I told you about the wonderful gifts you received from so many generous people. Clothing and toys, art and stuffed animals.  You are so loved.

Time is whirling past us, and I keep trying to stop time, to freeze it just for a moment.  It's impossible though.  So I will keep taking photos, videos, trying to capture it all.  I imagine your big twenty-something self, looking back at these photos with me, laughing along with your little mama at your tiny self- the noises, the faces, the adorable way you'd scrunch up your nose when you yawned.  I will tell you stories, your Dad will recount the time you did this or that, we'll all smile and reminisce. And you, my big son all grown up, my once tiny little baby boy, will look over at me and smile.  And you will know how much you are loved, and how much you've always been loved.

Here's to you Henry, today and tomorrow.

I love you,
Mama

Dear Henry,

Dear Henry,

It's been about 2 weeks since your birthday, and I've been thinking long and hard about how I could even begin to put into words how much joy you've brought into our lives in this short time. Your birth was challenging, yes, and I'm sure one day when you're older I will use that in a teasing way to give you a hard time...but I would go through that experience again and again, a million times over, for you. From the moment I heard you cry my life was changed. I feel like the person I was, and the person I am now are different somehow. It's hard to explain; it's hard to even verbalize what it feels like to have your life altered in an instant, to become someone new, someone better, in the blink of an eye. All I can say is: YOU ARE AMAZING. You are the most perfect little person I have ever met, and (I know this sounds wacky since you are in fact just 12 days old) I am certain that you are going to do something very special and wonderful in this world. You put out this calming, beautiful energy, and your Papa and I can't help but fall a little more in love with you every second of the day. You do the most adorable things- small cooing noises as you fall asleep, tiny smiles once you are asleep, and you even laugh out loud in the middle of dreaming. You're beautiful. Your Dad and I already had an amazing relationship, but since you've come along I feel like my love for him only grows and grows. He is an amazing Dad and loves taking care of you. He talks about your long legs and big hands and daydreams about you playing sports and skateboarding, and doing all sorts of father-son things. We both just sit and stare at you, your gorgeous little features and expressive face. It's hard to think about you growing up already- but as fast as these past two weeks have gone, I know that the rest of our lives will move in the same fashion. I desperately want to slow everything down. Pause. Rewind. Stop. I never want to forget the way you snuggle into my neck when you're tired, or the way you grip your Papa's hand with your tiny fingers. I want to always remember the noises you make, the smell of your hair, and the way you purse your lips after we kiss you. Every stage will come, and although that is so exciting, the stage we've left behind will never be lived again. So that's why when I'm tired, when I'm going on two hours of sleep, I take a moment and just love love love it, love it in all of it's wonderful beauty. This will only happen once, and I promise you I will never look too far into the future and miss the now. Every stage will come. And every stage will go. All we can do is be in the here and now. And let me tell you, my darling son, the here and now is a pretty amazing place to be, thanks to you.

I love you,

Mama

Dear Henry,

{via}

Dear Henry,

This will be the last time I write to you before your birthday. For the past ten months I've gotten to experience something amazing; something that I'd read and heard about from countless friends and family, seen on television shows and movies, studied in books, but I never understood it until I experienced it. Being pregnant is one of the most beautiful journeys I've ever been on. For 40 weeks I've grown you; half of your dad, and half of me. I've watched my stomach expand, and in turn, watched you grow, from a little tiny speck inside of my belly to a full-grown baby, ready to come out into the world. I've felt you move, kick, turn and toss. I've felt emotional, overcome with the idea that your papa and I have created this life, this person...you. There's been days where I just sit and look down at you, dreaming of all of the possibilities housed right inside of my body. I've nourished you, kept you safe, rubbed my stomach in the hopes that you could sense the love I was trying to send to you, and I've told you "I love you" more times than I can count.

The moment you are born, you are on your own path, but your father and I will always be with you every step of the way. These past months have been the happiest of our entire life, and I am sure that in the months and years to come, in the forever of our days, happiness is waiting for us.

As this phase ends, another begins. And although you won't physically be inside of my body anymore, I feel like I will always carry a part of you with me, as your mother. Wherever I go, and wherever you go, your heart is in mine.

So with that, I leave you with one of my favorite poems by e.e. cummings to commemorate these 40 weeks:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I love you sweet boy, and I cannot wait to meet you.

Love,
Your Mama

Dear Henry (a letter from your Dad),

Dear Henry,

I am so excited for you to be here! Halloween just passed and I thought about how fun it's going to be to take you trick or treating, dress up in costumes and eat candy! Your mom and I have been working so hard on putting together your room. Please don't ever ask me to re-paint the ceiling again! ;)

There are so many things that make me excited about you being here. Being able to teach you how to shoot a basketball, how to skateboard or ride a bike. All these things make me so excited for your arrival. Knowing that your life is an open book, you can truly do whatever you want. Don't ever limit yourself, your mom and I will always support you 100% and want you to be the happiest person in the world. Dream big and reach as far as you can. I promise we will be there for you! It's just a short matter of time before you're here and the countdown is driving me nuts. I imagine all the aspects of life that we will be able to embark on. Take hikes or play in the park, stare at the stars or play in the rain, I don't care, whatever you want to do. Whatever makes you happy. The possibilities are endless. I feel like a kid again and I want to make sure that you have the best childhood possible.

You aren't born yet but you need to know that I want to be the best dad possible to you and give you the best life. I promise that I will always be there to listen when you need me. You can always depend on me for everything. I love you so much and I hope that when you're old enough you can come and read this and know how excited your mom and I were for your arrival. I love you so much and I can't wait for you to be here!

Love, Dad

Dear Henry,

Dear Henry,

Well, sweet boy your mama is almost 9 months pregnant now. It's funny because before I was ever pregnant I always thought that if someone was 9 months pregnant it meant they were about to give birth, but no. It's a full 9 months which means you could be in here for another four or five weeks, give or take. Now that we are all settled in the new house everything seems a lot more real than it ever has. Things are happening very quickly and with every little thing we build and set up for you your Dad and I kind of sit in awe for a second thinking about the fact that soon this little swing, or that little crib will soon be yours. This week we will be both beginning and finishing your nursery. We have all the pieces to make it the perfect room for you, so after we paint the walls a beautiful gray we'll start putting it all together. Luckily your grandparents (my parents) will be spending a few days with us so they can help me while your papa works. And speaking of work, the countdown is really on for me to leave my job as a teacher. Officially I have 17 more working days at the very most and it's starting to sink in a bit how much everything is about to change. There was never a doubt in my mind that I wanted to stay home with you- I couldn't imagine not raising you this way, and I am so grateful for your father that he makes this possible for us. He's a hard worker and you'll see this when you get here! Just the other day we were at a shop, buying something for your room and the woman who was helping us asked me what I did for a living. I quickly responded with "Oh, I'm a high school teacher." And then realized that this would only be true for another few weeks. It's funny how much of our identity we tie to our profession. It seems natural and normal for me to respond with "teacher" when asked what I do. And I suppose I will still be a teacher, but of a different kind. A couple of people have asked me if I felt like I would be "wasting" my Bachelor's and Master's degrees by not working, but really, how could any preparation in life be seen as a waste? I've spent the last six years of my life working with amazing people, spending time with inspiring, wonderful children, and I really feel that this has prepared me to be a Mom more than anything. I've loved my time in the classroom, but I am excited and ready to be a full-time Mom to you, and to make the best life possible for our family as the years go by. I don't feel like I'm giving anything up; I truly feel like I am gaining so much more.

As these days wind down I find myself realizing that everything as we know it "now" will soon become "then." This will all be "before we had Henry." To say that your arrival is life-changing is an understatement. You will change everything, for the better. You already have. I just wish I could take this version of myself, a Mom but not-quite-a-Mom, a younger me, on the cusp of this incredible journey, and save it for you in a bottle. I'd like for you to be able to meet this person after years have gone by. I'd like for you to know your Dad in all of his young, Dad but not-quite-a-Dad wonderfulness, which will be just as wonderful as the Dad you will know, but quite different. I want you know what we were like as teenagers, then as young twenty-somethings falling in love, I want you to know our story, what we liked and loved, what made us tick, I want you to know those two people up there in that photo. I was thinking and thinking about this late last night and then I realized that this space here, this little corner of the internet, this is where you can come if you ever want to know more once you are older. Here you can read about your parents before we were your parents, here you can learn about all of the things that made me happy and sad, and in a way, get to know a different version of us. And that is comforting.

As this next month flies by, I want you to know how excited we are. You were our world before you ever even really came into the world, and have always been a part of us. I've said it before and I will say it again, whoever you are, whoever you want to be, we will accept you fully and love you to no end. You are already loved so much, and this was so evident last weekend during the baby shower that celebrated your life and impending birth. I've also said this before, but when you arrive it will truly be like a friend coming home. We've been getting everything ready for you, we've been preparing, and now we are waiting. The anticipation is unreal and oh-so very exciting. I feel like I should decorate the hospital room with streamers and balloons, complete with cupcakes and favors. Hello Henry! Welcome home! We've been waiting for you.

I love you,
Your Mom

Dear Henry,

Dear Henry,

So now time is really, really going by quickly. I know, I know. I said that last time (and the time before), but really it's starting to get a crazy as we approach the 32-week mark! We see the doctor every other week now, but that will turn into every single week pretty soon. Our 6-week long birthing classes started on Monday too. It was really strange because I've never been around so many pregnant women before in my life. Bellies everywhere. In the beginning we had to break into small groups of five couples, sit in a circle and find 10 things we all had in common. Interestingly enough our entire group was having boys! Of course your Dad and I had to take the lead because no one was talking but we managed to find 10 things each of us shared. Afterward we learned all about things like preterm labor, all sorts of "interesting" anatomy details, and some things that kind of freaked me out as far as labor and delivery. But, along with the scared feelings I'm having I'm even more so excited so I think it evens out pretty well. I really liked that the teachers focused on natural birth, even though it felt like we were the only people in the entire room who were hoping to go that way. It was quite the eye-opening process for your Papa. Luckily he is always incredibly open and forthcoming with his love and words, but he was especially appreciative that evening because he got to witness a lot of other pregnant women who were in a much different mindset than mine, to put it lightly. Not that one or the other is better, but your Dad definitely had quite the enlightening experience and it was incredibly sweet and adorable.

We close on our home in exactly one week and then another new adventure begins! We have all of your nursery furniture ordered and it should be delivered sometime towards the end of next week. Everyday this feels a little more "real," but once your room is all set up and I can just stand in there and think "Yes, my son is coming home to this room, so soon," I'm sure it will be more real than anything I've felt yet. My last day of work before you are born is rapidly approaching, and it's a very interesting sensation to think about how much my life is going to change. Today I posted a little blurb on Twitter about some numbers- "7 days until the house closes, 35 days of work left, and 60 days until the little guy is due. That's a LOT of change." There is just so much going on right now, but it's all so good that it's part overwhelming and part happiness overload! I feel like a broken record all of the time because I'm constantly in this "oh my gosh" kind of place, but I really can't help it.

I should also mention that this past weekend I got to meet baby Kyler! It was amazing to hold him, and to spend time with your Auntie Erin and Auntie Shirley. Kyler was only a week old this past Sunday but I could already tell he is going to be just like his Dad. He definitely looks a lot like him, and once he woke up and opened his eyes I just about melted. Erin is a great mama, and it was great to talk to her and to learn more about what it will be like when you arrive! We already have fun playdates planned- she is going to come up here with K., and we will drive down there once a month too! Luckily the Kolbes live in Peoria so they're a lot closer than a lot of our other friends and family in the valley. I'm just really looking forward to seeing you and Kyler together! Seriously exciting.

I spent some time the other day looking through all of your little clothes again, and just being in awe that you are going to soon be wearing them. I can't wait to put them all away in your new closet and dresser, and get everything ready for you. I just want to sit in your room and daydream for a bit, slow down and take this in. Your Dad and I have been taking long walks every single night and we talk and talk, and walk and walk, and discuss so many things, but mainly talk about you. We want to just stop time for a moment so we always remember how this felt, and at the same time we want to speed it all up and be right there for your birthday. 60 days until you're due to be here, 60 days until I meet our darling boy, 60 days until our life is changed forever and ever. There's a saying that a child picks their parents before they are even born, and I like to think about that, and think about you loving us before all of this ever happened. I feel like the moment you're born and I look into those eyes, it will be like coming home. I used to say that you would be the one arriving, but really, I think it will be me. I am about to become who I've always wanted to be, about to really take this step into this new life, new role...and truly arrive. A Mom. Someone you can always count on. Someone who will never judge you, and always, always show you love and kindness. A hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on. You're the one making the grand entrance, but in a way I'm arriving too. Just in time to meet you. And when you are born I feel like a part of me won't necessarily be gone, but it is going to change. A metamorphosis into motherhood. A butterfly, a new form, something better and something more beautiful. A Mom. Your Mom.

I love you always.

Dear Henry,

Dear Henry,

We have a little over two months to go, and like I say all the time, everything in our little world is changing so quickly. Every single day I find myself daydreaming about you, looking at baby stuff, and trying to picture what life is going to be like. It's hard to imagine it all once you're here, but I am certain that it is going to improve in ways I couldn't begin to dream of. The love we feel for you, without really meeting you is so strong that I can't even begin to fathom how it will feel to hold you in my arms for the first time, and have you look up at me with your beautiful baby eyes there in the birthing room. I constantly look through all of the tiny little clothes we've accumulated over the past year, I look at the books we've saved for you, at all of your ultrasound photos, and it still blows my mind to know that the reason for all of these things will soon be here.

In the past week you have been moving so much than ever. Before I could definitely feel you in there, I could feel little flicks and flips, but now as you push out against my stomach, I can almost make out your little hands, and feet (and elbows and knees too!). I can kind of push back gently or rub my belly where you are and you respond by pushing back or moving away. It's the most amazing thing, and completely surreal. We are getting a 3d ultrasound in the next couple of weeks and both your Dad and I are so incredibly excited to see you. I've been watching your ultrasound video I made for you a lot lately and it's hard to believe that it was taken almost three months ago. You've grown so, so much since then and it's going to be wonderful to have another peek at you growing inside my belly.

(readers/friends, here's the video again just in case you missed it the first time)

Henry's ultrasound, 19 weeks from Danielle Hampton on Vimeo.

Yesterday my dear friend Erin, who I'd been sharing this pregnancy with, and who was due exactly two months before me, had her baby boy. His name is Kyler Thomas, and you two will definitely be friends! Erin and I have been close friends since college at NAU when we lived in the same dorm, and we've been through everything in life together over the past ten years- from Pi Phi and NAU, to boyfriends and breakups, engagements and marriages, to crazy weekends and girls' trips all over the place. It's so neat that we both became pregnant around the same time with little boys and over the past many months we've constantly laughed at how shocked our 18-year old selves would have been if we could have taken a glimpse into the future. I imagine how we would have reacted at that young age, living in the Sechrist dorms as freshmen in college, not a care in the world- if only we could have known that 10 years later we'd be pregnant with you and Kyler at the same time! Seriously amazing. You guys are going to have a great time growing up together, and I'm so excited for all to come.

Here's a photo of the two of us, me 5 months pregnant and Auntie Erin 7 months. We have so many photos of us, from 2000 and beyond, and it's going to be so fun taking photos of you and baby K together.



When Erin sent us the photo of her new son, it kind of hit your Dad and me- WE are going to have that, we are going to be going through that...we are going to be holding YOU sooner than soon. To put ourselves in those shoes was a really strange realization, because although we know you're in there growing and growing, seeing little Kyler kind of shocked us for a moment and we got more excited than ever.

In these next couple of months I'm looking forward to that excitement building and building. Time has flown by so fast and I can't even imagine how quickly these short little weeks will go by. I want to cherish all of this, because like your Dad reminded me this weekend, it will never be this way again. I'm working hard on getting everything together for you; I'm making you a special book filled with all the wonderful people in your life so you can learn everyone's faces and names. I'm sewing curtains for your room and making you some bibs. Once we are in the new house at the beginning of next month we will be painting up your new room, putting together furniture, and getting everything ready for your homecoming. We can't wait for you to be here. You already bring so much sunshine into our lives, that I can't even imagine what it will be like when you finally arrive, like a bright, bright sun rising on a brand new day.

I love you always,
Your Mom

a letter to Henry

Dear Henry,

I'm back at work now, for awhile. It's funny because I keep thinking about how I repeat myself five times a day to each of my classes, and every piece of literature I read aloud to my students, you hear over and over, again and again. They say that whatever the baby hears in the womb will comfort them or make them happy after they're born. They say babies can develop preferences for these things. Everyday I wonder if you'll already love Ray Bradbury and Arthur Miller; I wonder if you'll enjoy poetry and meaningful quotes right from the get go. Rather than a lullaby, you'll relax by listening to me go on about Transcendentalism and early American poetry; you'll be lulled to sleep with the sounds of Ginsberg and Vonnegut. It makes me laugh to imagine this. Whatever the outcome may be, I'm glad you get to hear my voice so much throughout the day. During the summer when I wasn't working I would still talk to you, but I don't think you heard my voice anywhere near this much. I feel like you're going to be able to recognize it from across the room from the moment you're born.

I fall more in love with our future every single day. Today my students presented projects where they told the class all about their lives. A few of the boys talked about how much they loved their mothers, and it made me positively glow to hope that someday you'd be like that, so proud to tell everyone how much you love your mama. Your Dad and I are counting down the days as they fly by. We are almost into the third trimester and it's hard to believe you've been growing inside of me for over half a year. We're working hard to find a house to welcome you home to, and in a couple of weeks we will be picking out all the furniture for your future room. Last night we looked through all of the baby items we've accumulated so far, mainly clothing and books, and talked again about what we think you're going to be like. We discussed all your possible futures, and it was fun to imagine you all grown up, a twenty-something young man falling in love for the first time, finding his way in the world, and experiencing this sweet, sweet life. Your dad talked for awhile about how no matter who you are, no matter what you are like, he will accept you for always. I know not all sons are that lucky, and it makes me so happy to be married to a man like your dad. You'll find this out on your own, but he is just so accepting, so open, and he is able to express and share his emotions and thoughts freely and comfortably. I'm so glad you have such a wonderful man to look up to.

As these last three months wind down and as we prepare for your arrival, I've felt more in love with everything- you, your Dad, the world, our family, I've been in love with love and the idea of simplicity and happiness. I've never felt more at peace with where I am, and the other day I was thinking about how odd it was to be exactly where I'd always hoped to be. To step back and realize that is amazing- and you are one of the major parts of this realization. I've always wanted to be a Mom, and now, to be on this journey with your father, the love of my life, it's just unreal. Growing up I envisioned this LIFE, this place I wanted to be, all of the things I wanted to do and accomplish. And here I am, right in the middle of that. Married to your father, the most amazing man I've ever known, loving and laughing every single day, buying our first home together in a slow-paced, small town, having you and being able to comfortably stay home to take care of our growing family...my childhood and teenage dreams are becoming fully realized, and I feel more than grateful for every single blessing in my life. There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't send a silent thank you out in the universe for all of this goodness being manifested in our little corner of the world.

It's funny because I always thought that parents are made parents to teach their children all they know. They are on this earth to be models, guides, and mentors. But even though you aren't quite here, I feel like I've already learned so much from you. You've made me less selfish, more patient, and extra mindful of the choices I make and the thoughts I allow into my mind. I want to be a better person for you. I want to show you that it's okay to love people and to be happy and to try and spread that happiness wherever you go. I smile more, I focus more, I try to relax and enjoy the small things. I want to be a good Mom. Your Mom. So as these months speed by, and each day brings us closer to meeting you for the first time- closer to saying, "Happy birthday sweet Henry," I will focus on being the best person I can be, and in turn I think that will help me become the best Mom I can be. I know that it will be hard, and to be honest, I'm scared to death...but I think that the love your father and I share, and the love we already have for you will keep us on this beautiful path, smiling and whistling as we move through life, clicking our heels along the way.

See you soon, Henry.

Love,
Your Mom

Dear Henry,

Dear Henry,

You should be here in just over 100 days, maybe more, maybe less, and your Dad and I are just over the moon excited about your impending birthday. We've likened it to waiting for a dear friend to visit- we've put the date on our calendar, marked it with a big red x, and now we are just trying to make everything perfect for your arrival. But in this case, it's not just any friend's visit...it's our son's homecoming. Time is speeding up, and at the same time, it seems to be dragging along. I'm trying to really take in all of these last moments before you get here, because I know nothing will ever be the same.

Recently I've thought about the fact that you will have the ability to look back on my words one day, and it's interesting to think about what you will think when you read letters to yourself, learn about what you Dad and I were like when we were young, and enjoy so many stories and photos. I can't even begin to think what it would be like to be able to read such a detailed account of my Mom's! So on the days when I just don't feel like blogging, when I don't feel like documenting everything, I think of you and I think of the future, and I have no problem finding the time and energy to come to this space.

I feel like I'm already a better person having become your Mom, even though you're not quite here yet. I'm venturing into uncharted territory, and although I'm scared, there's something in me that knows this is right. You are the most amazing gift in the world and it's indescribable how it makes me feel to be bringing you into this world. I can't even fathom what it will be like once you are in my arms, when my day is all about you, when your Dad can rock you to sleep and call you his son.

There are so many things I want to teach you: to love everyone- to love every single person on this planet no matter who they are or where they come from. Not to judge, not to be mean, to have an open heart and to play and have fun and be a kid for as long as you can. I want you to embrace life and take it in every single day. I want you to look back on your childhood with fondness and feel way down deep in your heart that you are really, truly loved.

At the end of each day, if I can look at you and know that on that day, I did the best I could to love you, I will feel like that day is a success, and if I can look back on my life and know that it was filled with day after day of days like that, days full of loving you, then I will have lived a good life.

See you soon,

Mom